Spirit-Guided Relationships: Wives and Husbands
Introduction:
Verses 22-24 are directed to wives,
Verses 25-32 are directed to husbands.
One is not dependent on the other.
Ephesians 5:21-33 NLT
21 And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
22 For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. 24 As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything.
25 For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her 26 to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. 27 He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. 28 In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. 29 No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. 30 And we are members of his body.<BR>31 As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” 32 This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. 33 So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
Examine the scriptures:
Ephesians 5:21-33 NLT
Spirit-Guided Relationships: Wives and Husbands
Previously: Instructions for holy living.
Ephesians 5:15-20 NLT
Living by the Spirit’s Power
15 So be careful how you live. Don’t live like fools, but like those who are wise. 16 Make the most of every opportunity in these evil days. 17 Don’t act thoughtlessly, but understand what the Lord wants you to do. 18 Don’t be drunk with wine, because that will ruin your life. Instead, be filled with the Holy Spirit, 19 singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs among yourselves, and making music to the Lord in your hearts. 20 And give thanks for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.
Without being filled with the Holy Spirit, it would be impossible to live up to the expectations of today’s passage of scripture.
Verse 21 is addressed to all believers.
21 And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
Spirit-controlled believers are to submit to one another.
Christ’s example.
Matthew 20:28 NLT
28 For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many.
- Submission to others is not expressed out of fear or desire for personal gain, but out of reverence for Christ.
- No believer is inherently superior to any other believer. In their standing before God, they are equal in every way.
Submission does not mean inferiority. Submission is recognizing God given roles.
Submission is accepting the role God has given to you, and respecting the role God has given to others.
- Submission results out of reverence for Christ and a recognition of God given roles.
Submit to others according to the order and authority established by God.
Examples:
Romans 13:1 NLT
Respect for Authority
1 Everyone must submit to governing authorities. For all authority comes from God, and those in positions of authority have been placed there by God.
Ephesians 6:1-4 NLT (Next Lesson)
Children and Parents
6:1 Children, obey your parents because you belong to the Lord, for this is the right thing to do. 2 “Honor your father and mother.”
Ephesians 6:5 NLT
Slaves and Masters
5 Slaves, obey your earthly masters with deep respect and fear. Serve them sincerely as you would serve Christ.
Today’s lesson:
Wives and Husbands
In each of these relationships the first partner is commanded to be to be submissive or obedient. The second partner is also to show submissiveness by his care and concern for the first partner.
Note: The word obey does not appear in scripture with respect to wives, though it does with respect to children and slaves.
To submit (the way it is used in this passage) means to yield one’s own rights.
As educators a review of the following may help us better understand this passage.
In a school setting things go better when students submit to their teachers.
That does not mean that teachers are smarter or better than their students.
It does mean that the role of the teacher is different than the role of the student.
The student needs to respect the role of the teacher.
The teacher needs to love the student and have a desire to help the student learn and mature and develop into the person God intended them to be.
22 For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord.
Instructions given to wives.
Other related scriptures:
1 Corinthians 11:3 NLT
3 But there is one thing I want you to know: The head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.
Colossians 3:18 NLT
18 Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting for those who belong to the Lord.
1 Timothy 2:11-12 NLT
11 Women should learn quietly and submissively. 12 I do not let women teach men or have authority over them. Let them listen quietly.
Titus 2:4-5 NLT
4 These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children, 5 to live wisely and be pure, to work in their homes, to do good, and to be submissive to their husbands. Then they will not bring shame on the word of God.
1 Peter 3:1-2 NLT
1 In the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands. Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won over 2 by observing your pure and reverent lives.
- Wives submit to your husbands out of reverence for Christ. (v. 21)
- Submission is something wives should willingly and lovingly offer. It is not something for the husband to command.
Out of obedience to the Lord, a wife submits to her husband regardless of his personal worthiness or spiritual condition.
23 For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. 24 As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything.
- Husbands have a God given role of leadership in the family for the health of the marriage relationship.
25 For husbands, this means love your wives,
- Husbands are commanded to love their wives.
Instructions given to husbands.
Paul uses 9 verses to address the husband’s duty.
Paul used 3 verses to address the wife’s duty.
Other related scriptures:
1 Peter 3:7 NLT
Husbands
7 In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.
Colossians 3:19 NLT
19 Husbands, love your wives and never treat them harshly.
1 Corinthians 11:3 NLT
3 But there is one thing I want you to know: The head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.
Husbands are commanded to submit to Christ.
Husbands are commanded to love and honor their wives.
Husbands are to treat their wives with understanding, being thoughtful of their needs.
Husbands should never treat their wives harshly.
- Love and honor are things husbands should willingly give to their wives. It is not something for the wives to command.
just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her 26 to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word.
Husbands should love their wives with unreserved, selfless, and sacrificial love.
27 He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault.
- A husband’s greatest desire for his wife should be that she grows in her relationship with God and becomes the person God intended her to be.
28 In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. 29 No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. 30 And we are members of his body.
A husband should provide for the needs of his wife. “… feeds and care for …”
Numerous translations say “… nourishes and cherishes …”.
- Husbands should love, prize and cherish their wives.
31 As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.”
Genesis 2:24 NLT
24 This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.
In marriage, the husband’s life is so intimately joined to the wife’s that they are one.
“Joined” carries the sense of a permanent or indissoluble union.
32 This is a great mystery,
- The unity of husband and wife is a great mystery.
Two becoming one.
but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one.
Christian marriages become a reflection of the union and relationship between the Lord and the church.
33 So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
- Christian marriages should be marked by love and respect.
Remember Paul’s (God’s) instructions for holy living.
Ephesians 5:18
… be filled with the Holy Spirit. …
None of this is possible without God’s help.
